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I Don’t Care About Baby Yoda, and You Can’t Make Me

When Disney Plus launched, I knew about it, but I didn’t subscribe. It was my way of silently protesting against them, for trying to force me to subscribe to yet another damn streaming service. I mean, I already have Netflix, Hulu, the NFL Sunday Ticket, and Apple TV+ (I’ll save that story for another day) – why the hell should I pay for something else?

We’d been hearing about Disney Plus (or is it Disney+) for over a year. My son Travis, who’s 11, had been panicking about when his beloved Marvel movies were getting pulled from Netflix. Chloe, who’s 14, was completely over the Disney Channel and couldn’t wait to get her hands on the most comprehensive library of Disney movies ever . She said those exact words.

Meanwhile, I was getting harassed on a daily basis about whether we were signing up for Disney Plus. Then we saw Avengers: Endgame (on opening night, thankyouverymuch ), and before we could get out of the theater – Travis, sobbing and mourning the death of his favorite hero (he’s still broken-hearted) was reminding me that we just had to sign up for Disney Plus, so he could relive these moments forever. Nevermind that it wouldn’t launch for another 6 months.

Disney Plus became a bad word in my house. I didn’t want to hear about it or see anything related to it. It didn’t help that all my friends and favorite bloggers were talking about it on Facebook, so I was up the creek without a f***ing paddle.

I made it clear that I wasn’t going to fall into the Disney Plus trap, and told my kids don’t ask because the answer is NO!

A week later, my husband called me at work to tell me that there was a bundle deal for ESPN+, Hulu, and you guessed it…Disney Plus. Since he subscribes to ESPN+ and we already have Hulu – it was a no-brainer to get all three for $12.99 a month. So we did.

We’ve had Disney Plus for weeks now, and I’m not impressed. I tried to watch Mighty Ducks, but it’s not available for some ridiculous amount of time – I think a year or two from now, and that pisses me off. You mean to tell me that I subscribe and the only thing I wanted to watch isn’t even available? Why the hell not? I’ve seen all those movies 100 times, and I’m not interested in any of the original content until the Marvel shows are released. So basically I’m stuck paying Disney Plus, until Hawkeye, The Falcon and Winter Soldier, WandaVision, and Loki show up in 2021 – with nothing else exciting on the horizon…sorry, Baby Yoda.

It’s not like I don’t love Disney movies, because I do. I grew up loving The Lion King, Toy Story, The Little Mermaid, Rescuers Down Under, and Mighty Ducks – so much, that any of those movies could be found in my daily rotation, well into my high school years (don’t judge me). I was convinced that I would someday play Ariel on Broadway, and I even secretly loved watching the High School Musical and Camp Rock series with my kids, when they were little. Now that we have the whole library, I’m completely underwhelmed.

I know lots of people are loving Disney Plus, but I don’t care about it and you can’t make me – until all the new Marvel shows hit the queue. Then I’ll give a damn.

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